IndiaOn

A week doesn't go by without us getting the news of yet another friend or acquaintance moving back to India to take up some plum assignment and take part in the economic boom. In case you are thinking of or have already signed up for it, here are some tips, wisdom gleaned from my years of derring-do in Boombay:

1. Good talent is damned hard to find - the McKinsey report was right! As a veteran headhunter, I can tell you with absolute certainty it is nearly impossible to get good head in India. If you get lucky, you might catch some tail, though... try offering options - e.g. "would you like the pink ribbed one or the neon glow-in-the-dark one?"

2. The boom can't last forever - yes, we've seen those spectacular sensex returns, but as any honest Casanova will tell you, past performance is no guarantee of future results. What goes up must come down, so roll in the hay while the sun shines. I'm told the little blue pills are all the rage in India because they're available OTC in India - that might prolong the boom. Think of it as a "long straddle" (put & call options with the same expiration date), where you make out like a raging bull if the underlier (value) moves significantly either up or down.

3. The Chinese are coming! - as are the Russians, so the Poles & the G-strings can't be far behind. Have faith, they will have a Gold Club up & running before you can say "Kem che?"

4. Bollywood is HOT! - you better pay attention, dude, because Indian blogs feature stuff like "Leadership Lessons from Lagaan" (True!) and "The Impact of Dhoom2 on Mobile Computing", or my favorite: "Dil Mange More: Disruptive Technology and Buyer Dissonance." If you really want to get a pulse for what the Indian youth want, go to the movies. It'll also improve your hit rate with the clubbing crowd as you're going to need brand-new pickup lines, pal - and if they don't contain smart-ass references to the latest Bollywood films/stars/gossip, you're khakhra.

And this one - last, but not least - will make you a multi-chillionnaire and a household name:

5. Please start writing a book - NOW - get in the habit, get in the groove - the market is RIPE for a TELL-ALL book from inside the boom - who better to bring this perspective to the world than you? A dash of culture clash, a sprinkle of India Inc's materialism & hedonistic lifestyles, combined with tales from the business and tech world, spiced with some sex & you're set!

i heard there are an estimated 60,000 indians that have gone back int he last 2 years.. no wonder real estate is going nuts.